What the hell did I get myself into.....

One of my most favorite friends, Russo, talked me into going to the Coastal Carolina Fair.   She had free tickets, so I thought why not.  I've never been, but people have said it was fun.  I thought, eh, I might find some great mullets, so why not go.   Got to say, Chad was pretty nervous about me going.  Something about my mouth that never shuts up and my facial expressions?  Not sure what he means by THAT??!!  (ha-yes, Chad, I know I am a loud mouth, say whatever I think, and my face gives away what I am thinking before I say it kind of girl....yeah, heard that before...but I'm still ME!)  So I took my sunglasses....  :)

I'm going to put this out there..Right now..on this blog...for the three two people who actually read it.  (And I love you my dear two readers, I really do...)   I am a snob.  Yep, there, I said it.  Do I feel better, yeah sort of.  So with that out of the way...let me begin my journey of the fair.

1-I had no business being there...other than my love of funnel cakes and fried pickles, there isn't much else I am going to eat.  Do I want a ten pound chicken leg?  Hell no.  Did I vomit a little in my mouth when I saw the people with no teeth shoveling them into their pie holes?  yes, I did...

Yep, 5 pounds of ooey gooeyiness...in my pie hole

This made me want to vomit...

2-I am a huge germ freak.  Was I going to ride a ride that has been set up by people who probably don't care if they follow the safety rules?  Um, no.  Is it full of germs?  Um, YEAH it is!

3-I don't think they accept my Macy's card here.....However, their retail was might I say a bit on the interesting side.  I wish I had more cash so I could have bought some of these real perdy things...

Now looking back, I wish I did get this shirt.  There's a rodeo coming to town soon...This would have been funny.

4-I didn't have to pay money to see some of the "AMAZING" exhibitions like the tiniest lady ever, or the half snake, half man because walking around was like a free, freak show.  South Carolina's best...I must say....Example One:  "The Back that Ass Up Show"

All night long I have had that terrible rap song, "Back that Ass Up" stuck playing in my head thanks to these fine folks.  I love how he accented her outfit with his gold and red jacket...Such a playa....

But my favorite free freak show was the bearded lady with no "teef" waiting in line to let her kid climb on some rope ladder to win a 40 foot stuffed animal.  I wish my camera was better or that I had more ballz to get closer and take her picture, because she was some SC wonderful.......

I think the most pathetic thing I saw all night was the "little miss" pagent show.  Stage Mom's who just thought their little "Miss" was all that, paraded them around on the "stage" showing off dresses that probably cost as much as their weekly paycheck.  Half of these little girls cried and didn't want to do it, but their Mama's just shoved them right out on stage and made them perform these terrible routines.  God bless those babies....it was darn right pathetic.  (Yep, darn right-I said it...Hey-I was at the fair all afternoon-got to get into character!)

I don't want to sound like I didn't have fun, because I really did.  Hanging out with Russo is always fun and I did shove a funnel cake (well most of a funnel cake) in my mouth...so it coudn't have been that bad.  (Editor's note-I feel like I am dying b/c of that damn cake....but it was so tasty....)   In the end, one really great thing came out of all of this.  Russo found her dream man.  Next year they are gonna get married at the top of the Ferris Wheel...Ahh...now that's love...